I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
