I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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