question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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