apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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