i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
