the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
