I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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