At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
