why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
