Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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