i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
