I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
