Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
