last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
