I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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