its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i've created a new STD.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
A bitchslap is in order.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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