i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
