butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
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