good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Terrible idea I love it
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
