just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
