Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
