Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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