i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
