so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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