just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize