Got a toothbrush?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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