Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
