So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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