Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
