Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I understand Curling. That high.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
