In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
