seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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