Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
