Can Purell be used as lube?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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