This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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