....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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