NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
