The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
