let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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