Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
