When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize