My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
