I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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