We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
