oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
did i walk over a car last night?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
