She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
