I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
