I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
