I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
