Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
