so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Houston, we have a squirter
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
