So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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