I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize