You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
