I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
