I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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