Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
