So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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