Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
