Only a mothe r could love this liver
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
