Ambien. No doubt about it.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
