How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
