I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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